How about I have ADD and leave my heart out of this...

So I saw this quote by Henri Frederic Amiel. (Apparently, we all know you can't trust the internet much)

"If you want to know where your heart is, look at where your mind goes when it wanders" 

Okay, so I thought about it and this is it. 

Am I listening to Mozart or Schubert right now? (Don't judge me)
Will these sleeping pills work?
Wonder if I should go make popcorn.
I should have bought Nutella.
Run.
Oh my, pretty shoes.
I want a monkey thought translator, a monkey named Steve and a secret lab. I have to stop watching Cloudy with a chance of meatballs...
Wonder what my dogs would tell me if I had a dog thought translator
Oh look, texts from my dog.
Wow, Freud doesn't seem like such a nice person.
My throat hurts, wonder what disease is killing me according to Google. 
Skinner wasn't a nice person either... 
People are weird... 

SO what the hell does that say about where my heart goes?
ADD, that's what it says.

Do you have chloroform??

I need to stop being so paranoid, not everyone carries a bottle of chloroform with them...Right?

So I've been apartment hunting... Nasty business in this city. I hate it.

I was suppose to look at a place today, but then my paranoia kicked in and I completely chickened out. I kept on thinking what an easy target I am.

I step into the building, one person distracts me with candy and another sneaks up behind me with a cloth soaked in chloroform and after a few hours I wake up in a bath tub of ice and some missing organs. (It's usually a kidney, but you never know when they would take half of my liver) 

Ugh, I don't know if I should blame it on all the weird movies I've been watching, the fact that I'm South African or that I just don't trust people in general... (Post for another day)

Maybe I should have a set of questions that should be answered.

1. Can you name one use for chloroform?

2. Do you know how to sell organs on the black market?

3. Will you be offended if I bring a black light along to look for body fluids?

4. Do you have any fetishes that are frowned upon?

5. Do you know anything about security surveillance, hidden cameras and bugging?

I'm stopping there, this is freaking me out more...

10 days...

I have 10 days left before it's  time for a mass explosion of excuses for my current behavior of weirdness, experimentation and chaos in general.

10 damn days until I am 25  old enough to know better.
So what will I be doing that day? Good question, unless it's getting seriously happy about the fact that I have succeeded in living this long, hiding and disappearing off the grid sounds like a good idea as well. Not that it will be likely, I can only imagine that the chaos will only continue to become more chaotic.

After a huge internal monologue, assessing options and just being me in general, I have realized what I want in life. I'm also too scared to go out and get it.

I have also come to the conclusion that I am a bigger coward than what I at first thought. It's horrible how self criticism makes you realize this.
So now is my time to shine, to be daring, to make (even more) mistakes and to probably get rid of that wall that I built around my heart. Enough is enough.

I have lived in the shadows for long enough and I have been provoked for long enough as well. Funny how someone would want you out of their lives but turn back and try to hurt/provoke/amuse you. Thank you for the amusement factor, I enjoy it, but once again, enough is enough. (you didn't succeed in the other two, you just annoyed me and made for a good giggle)

10 days is what I have left... 10 days of being stupid, young and irresponsible. Or  rather 10 days to catch up on all the times that I have not been young stupid and irresponsible.

The next 10 days are going to feel like seconds anyway at this rate, so Cutting Jade's 10 seconds is very appropriate...

I think I'm dying...

Are there any weird outbreaks of some dangerous disease occurring in NYC that I don't know about? If it's not known yet, I swear that I'm the first to have it. I cannot remember feeling this horrible and disgusting in forever...

I'm so damn sick and I have exams to write... Maybe I should go to the closest hospital and ask them to put me in quarantine, just in case I have a new version of some super bug that could possibly kill the entire city's population. I am a walking health hazard (not that I'm really leaving my bed at the moment)

It could also be the beginning of phase I of the zombie apocalypse, because I can feel my mental capabilities diminishing as we speak. (It could also be the medication cocktail that I administered to myself, no better cocktail than a bunch of flu meds)

Any brave souls out there who would bring me ice cream, soup and chocolate?
I will provide a hazard suit and explain exactly how to decontaminate everything... Promise...

Tragedy strikes...

It's a tragic day...
I have somehow lost a pair of shoes...

I cannot figure out how one can misplace a pair of shoes?
I think it was revenge of the super bugs... They stole my shoes...

So I had to replace them... Obviously...

The bug saga...

So, as mentioned before, there was a killer bug on the loose in our apartment.

My roommate and I were staring at this bug for a good 30 minutes, trying to figure out what we're going to do about it... I even decided to blog about it before we take action...

We couldn't go to bed with a murderous mutant in our apartment, it could have killed us in our sleep.

We ended up looking for insect killer, which we didn't have in the apartment. 

Going to the store to buy some was out of the question, since you don't leave a bug that size alone... It might crawl into a hiding place and ambush us.

So we made a plan... A stylish plan...

Spray the sucker with hairspray and then squash it with a shoe... 

Not just any shoe, three inch heels.

After much girly screaming, freaking out, retreating and attacking, we succeeded. 

Hopefully this isn't a common occurrence, I don't want to ruin pretty shoes.

I think it's going to kill us...

There is a gigantic bug in our apartment at the moment..
Gigantic is an understatement, this is a super bug, it's the mother of all bugs... It's the size of a baby elephant...

It's probably a mutant due to some radiation exposure...
Would love to post a picture of it...But I'm not going to risk my life by getting to close to the demon, since it might have developed some super bug  powers that could possibly kill us...

There's no set route to any destination from now on...

The area where I live has got quite a few model apartments and some of the men in the area have figured it out.

It's really creepy when someone tells you this : "Excuse me, I'm not bothering you and I don't mean offense, but I saw you on the train three stops ago and I followed you. Can I get your number? Oh, and how tall are you, you look like a model?"

Following me is definitely the best way to get a strategically placed kick  way to my heart.
I don't really know how this was suppose to knock me off my feet, unless he had chloroform on him.
(We all know that dodgy stalkers have ample supply of chloroform on them when they follow tall girls)

I was really rude to the guy and now I want to make up for it.

This song is for you, mister creepy stalker dude, I hope you like this and that possible restraining order!

Fluffy kitties, puppies, mittens, strudel... Screw that, I'm still scared...

Ha! The sound of Music route isn't working very well.

I am not the world's biggest fan of thunderstorms, especially when I have to walk to get to a bus/train..

Seriously, that piece of metal covered in fabric also known as an umbrella, does NOT seem like a safe thing to hold when walking in a storm, especially when you're 6 feet tall. 

It feels like tempting fate.

Three lost souls in the storm. God speed

It's wonderful to be in a country with such high lightning activity...

I think my room mates have gotten use to the humming and finding me in fetal position in the corner unable to move.

Strudel would be good now though...

Noooo! I'm not aging!!!

Aargh!

I'm starting to get panic attacks!

My birthday is less than a month away and instead of being excited, I just feel old...

Curse the modeling industry for feelings of premature aging...

Hot, spotted and bothered...

On the tropic side of the world, I seem to look like the more endangered species called the red, spotted tourist. * Waving sarcasm sign wildly*

Okay, so I don't have sunburn that's  too obvious, but I can surely feel the burn.

All because I decided to be conceited and used skin care products that's suppose to make skin look youthful and healthy... Missed the minute warning that says: "this product may make skin more sensitive to sun exposure"

Let's think about this. If you want your skin to look younger, making it more sensitive to SUN is not the best option... Idiotic product... 

So I have slight sunburn.

Also, I am covered in mosquito bites. I think I might just die from Dengue fever... The chances of not being bitten by a mosquito that's not carrying the virus is really slim when I look at all these bites.

Otherwise I have chicken pox. For the third time. 

Or will it be shingles by now? 

Healthy paranoia, Facebook is stupid and from now on I will lie...

So Facebook dropped the ball... Again...
I have a block list, like every other paranoid person, I'm not shy to admit it.
I have a need to try to keep myself safe. (that's why it's healthy paranoia see?)

One person with sheer devil power sneaked through the cracks and somehow got hold of me on Facebook. So much for not being able to find me.

If blocking doesn't work then I guess not allowing them to see anything on your profile is another good option... Right, now to get the settings to cooperate. Why can people still view my photos after I have selected them as the exception to viewing them...

Now, that isn't working either... Now I will just have to lie about everything?
right... This is a mess.
Thank you Facebook as always...