Yup, my life is complicated...

I'm so confused. I don't know what to do.

Blue October will be in NYC in... October and I can't decide if I want to go watch them perform or rather go to Comic con.

I could possibly just go to both events or pretend that I never knew about it and buy shoes.

Comic con, Blue October or these Louboutins?

Such a tough decision...

Oh, so that's why... Now I understand...

I read an article a few days ago, which apparently explains my current situation.
Why you're not married Go read it... It explains EVERYTHING... [insert sarcasm here]


Apparently I am angry, shallow, a liar, selfish and not good enough. 


If a guy treats me badly or is rude I'm suppose to wiggle my butt, bat my eyelashes and keep my mouth shut? Seriously... Also I don't think that a man with character won't be so insecure to not be able to deal with a few bitchy rants words. (Just my logic, you either have character and a backbone or... I'm going to walk all over you)

Now the shallow part. It's okay for men to want Kim Kardashian because she's nice?! Yes, I'm sure of it that her niceness is what makes her so popular, that must be it for sure.
The lying part is probably denial... Who knows.

I am selfish, why not? I am going to live my life, that's what it's there for.
I also feel that the term "selfish" is used instead of ambitious. Now also, if I'm body conscious it makes me selfish. If I need to be like Kim, in order to find a man who will want to marry me, I am going to think about how big my butt looks and how I do need to work out...

Last but not least. Not being good enough. Really? I honestly think that everyone has insecurities, but blatantly saying that I think I'm not good enough is just ridiculous...
Bitch please, I'm fabulous.

This whole article had me in a fit of giggles to be honest, until I read through the comments. Many people agree, men and women.
Now I have one question, is this valid advice? My conclusion is that if I want to be married, I should have low standards, not focus on a career, make sure I'm nice like Kim and then I will meet someone.
Okay, great, just one problem. the poor guy will one day wake up and realize that he married a lie, (so much for not being a liar) someone who has no personality (shame poor little guy cannot be made more insecure) and absolutely very little ambition, hopes, goals and dreams (sounds clingy to me)


Oh, plus Mrs. McMillan has been married three times. It seems as if her advice doesn't work so well in the long run. 


Here's what I think. I am not going to depend on someone just because he will feel insecure if I don't. If I am going to get married, it would be to someone according to not only character, but physical attraction as well (it's called survival of the fittest and I am going to make sure that my theoretical offspring get the best genes possible)
Oh and that thing called love, I guess it's important to like someone enough to be able to share a life with them and not consider/act on the urge to murder him in his sleep.


Oh my... I think I will just have to go burn some bra's, demand equality,  think like a lady, act like a man and work like a boss.

it's July... Already?!

I think July is going to be good to me... I mean; I know July is going to be good to me.

I just love the summer in the city, the heatwave reminds me of the places that I've been and makes me think of the places I want and still need to see.

Yes, I am suffering from wanderlust and I'm pretty much gloating discreetly (as soon as I succeed in wiping this smirk of my face)

Indeed July is going to be awesome. 

More good vibes...

More love, more kindness, more happiness, more work, more time, more sleep, more tea, more books, more sunshine, more ice cream, more laughs, more flowers, more jokes, more giggles, more hugs, more kisses, more joy, more drawings, more photos, more sunrises, more late night silly conversations, more colors, more music...

I definitely want it all...
Wonder if 24 hours in a day would be enough to get all if this "moreness"?

It must all sound pretty naive, but I actually don't care, I'm all sunshine and daisies right now. Ignorance is incredibly bliss.

Music and color

If I wrote you a song, it would contain a rainbow.

A rainbow you created, 

Octaves and chords, the colors it could show, 

Bridges and pauses of  fleeting beauty reflected

Memories, melody and moments all entwined 

Capturing us in a song,

A fleeting moment, a glance, a gesture; the chords of  a life for which we long

A moment in time becomes our lullaby, our song.

If only I could write our lullaby, but the notes all seem wrong

The soothing tones all seem to be gone

Black and white like these keys, 

Stark and severe, nothing is ever as it seems.

They just multiplied... Like rabbits...Silly rabbits

My shoes multiplied... I seriously didn't know that I brought so many shoes to the USA.
My biggest bag isn't big enough to contain such beauty and wonder! I only bought two pairs since I've been here, which I personally think is a HUGE achievement.

Since I apparently also have more  handbags and clothes than I assumed, I need a few strong guys to help me move. Any volunteers? I will uh, reward you...

So much for being a strong independent woman...

Do you have chloroform??

I need to stop being so paranoid, not everyone carries a bottle of chloroform with them...Right?

So I've been apartment hunting... Nasty business in this city. I hate it.

I was suppose to look at a place today, but then my paranoia kicked in and I completely chickened out. I kept on thinking what an easy target I am.

I step into the building, one person distracts me with candy and another sneaks up behind me with a cloth soaked in chloroform and after a few hours I wake up in a bath tub of ice and some missing organs. (It's usually a kidney, but you never know when they would take half of my liver) 

Ugh, I don't know if I should blame it on all the weird movies I've been watching, the fact that I'm South African or that I just don't trust people in general... (Post for another day)

Maybe I should have a set of questions that should be answered.

1. Can you name one use for chloroform?

2. Do you know how to sell organs on the black market?

3. Will you be offended if I bring a black light along to look for body fluids?

4. Do you have any fetishes that are frowned upon?

5. Do you know anything about security surveillance, hidden cameras and bugging?

I'm stopping there, this is freaking me out more...