Festivals and hunting as a good deed.

I will be going to a festival later today!
I have no idea what it will involve, but it should be worth the experience.

On another note, I have the urge to vent.
Why in heaven's name are men such trophy collectors??
Pretty girl= trophy= disaster.

Screw the zombie apocalypse. Maybe I should become a trophy hunter instead.

I will be able to get rid of my pent up frustration and do my good deed for the world...
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Workaholic with life on the back burner....

Sometimes being a model is tougher than what people think.
My whole life revolves around my career and everything else is placed on the back burner.

Good thing I'm a workaholic, otherwise I would be super miserable.
Everyone has an addiction and this is mine...

Good option according to me...

Hell is just a sonnet if you want to get onto the internet

I'm in Manila... And I wonder if it's even possible for hell to be hotter... I hope to not find out, but surely some politicians are...

And to add to the temper flares that the extreme heat causes, I don't have proper internet access...

Aaaargh, internet withdrawal is the worst feeling in the world. I get headaches, I lack the energy to do anything, I have lost the will to continue using facebook. In short, I think I'm on my cyber deathbed...

Maybe if I get turned into a virtual vampire I can hack someone else's wi-fi account and then live a life of the undead...

Hell is just a sonnet anyway...
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Have mercy on my soul, teleporting and The Eagles...

Airports are a definite circle in hell, yes indeed...
As always there has to be some problem with my ticket, seat immigration form, luggage.. You name it, it happened today...

Curse you satan for inhabiting airports... And making me pay more than the standard fare for a cup of stale coffee.. It tastes like crap and has the same effect...

Maybe I should teleport, quick, easy and painless.... ( it should be painless)
Have mercy on my soul.. Someone make it possible!

And while I teleport to my destination, I will listen to the Eagles.. Yes, hotel California seems soothing enough to listen to...

Hopefully teleporting won't involve thinking of the destination.. We would all be stuck in California..
A mass invasion... Sounds like a zombie apocalypse to me....

Where's my cattle prod?
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Coffee, airlines... And maybe a leg...

In the name of all things sweet...

I have a pile of things to pack...Piles and piles (non medical related) Yes I'm staring at  my worldly possessions, hoping that they will just miraculously and neatly go into my bag...

Maybe I should start drinking more coffee. 

Coffee is the answer to these situations, right?

No, wait, maybe I should start snorting ground coffee... It should theoretically work faster, right?

Note, I have never snorted anything before, I am not really going to attempt it, I am not going to blow my nose and look at brown mucous... I might just end up forgetting what I did and then rush to the doctor claiming that my I now have a deadly form of sinusitis...

I thought that everything should fit into one bag... It has to fit into one bag... Curse airlines for their limits on luggage and not allowing me to have a comfortable seat that can accommodate for my long legs...

Curse these shoes, curse the weather and curse forgetfulness

Ouch!!!

I decided to take my new shiny docs for a walk today, in the rain...
I forgot my umbrella and I also forgot to put on a second pair of socks...

So I was soaking wet, miserable and the stupid(but still very fabulous) shoes gave me blisters the size of Africa on my already mangled feet...

I need to lie down now with my feet in the air... Pity I don't have a willing and skilled person at my disposal, who will give a good foot rub or a spa pedicure for that matter.
No, I'm not WALKING to the salon to get it done...
I'm sure of it that walking outside today will be the devil's work, so to keep my soul untarnished, I remain indoors...

It is a Holy weekend after all.

No, I will not go to rehab, over my dead body...

It's not a problem, are you kidding me?

How can anyone think that owning a ridiculous amount of shoes can be a problem???

I have received another pair of doc martins (limited edition)... and they are awesome and once they stop giving me blisters I will wear them every day of my life and I will even get buried, (I mean cremated) in them, they will form an intricate part of my life and there after... 

And here you thought I was rambling on about heels... 

Those are good for self defense, because if you wear them to often your tendons in your legs shorten and you won't be able to run away... So make the sacrifice and stab someone in the eye with a stiletto...

(Fashion is not only pretty, but practical too)

Yes, the appearance of the blog has changed, yes it's dedicated to shoes, no don't even think of complaining, the next step will be a whole bunch of Holland Lop bunnies... 

I like Cinderella, I really do. She has a good work ethic. I appreciate a good, hard-working gal. And she likes shoes. The fairy tale is all about the shoe at the end, and I'm a big shoe girl. - Amy Adams 

I'm not the only one! I got it all from Cinderella... Blame her and her glass slipper...

Anyone who knows where I can get glass slippers?

Windswept

Photographer and Designer Adrian Alicea working his magic...

Music saves my soul...

It's a gloomy miserable day in the city today...
So I've been indoors listening to music all day

It's the perfect way to brighten my day

Good bye my pretty...

I need to break the habit...

No, nothing illegal or detrimental really.

I need to get rid of my South African accent...

Parting is such sweet sorrow.
It feels as if part of my identity will be lost along with the accent...

Sleep...

It's one of those nights again...
My insomnia is back...
It could be that my brain is too busy processing thoughts about thoughts, which is really upsetting since all I can think of is a good night's rest. The one thing that evades me.


Insomnia is a gross feeder.  It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking.  ~Clifton Fadiman



I've tried watching the boring movies, but that doesn't help much either since I just become a zombie or feel like a zombie...


When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake.  ~From the movie Fight Club, based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk


Some people see sleep as death's baby brother, personally I think lack of sleep is related closer to death than sleep... Not sleeping enough is the death of a productive mind, even though I know Einstein rarely had more than four hours sleep a night. 
(But since I barely grasped the theory of relativity, I don't think that I can claim to have the sheer genius to stay awake at night)

Fighting insomnia is a losing battle most nights.
I chose  the easy route tonight... Drug it away. It doesn't solve the problem, but it surely treats the symptoms. 


Maybe I will have some sweet release and a well rounded life if I get my 40 winks tonight.


We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
The Tempest

Maybe one day, I will be able to sleep like this little guy. for now, I'm just jealous

Pretty good day...

Nothing like a pretty bow to cheer up my day :)

What if...

What if I decided to not alter the course of my life?
Maybe if I decided to stay in my warm, comfortable little known zone, I would have been happier...

Sometimes when life gets a bit tough, I wonder if I made the right choices.
Was it a good idea to move to the bright lights of NYC or Hong Kong or Singapore? I'm not too sure where I moved to right now... having worked all over the show does that I guess...

I have been fortunate enough to see some new places and discover other cultures in more than just the touristy fashion, Once you've worked in a country for a while, then you see everything it has to offer, not just the shimmering  tourist traps.

I have seen more, explored more and discovered more than most people my age. I have had my own battles to overcome that might not have happened if I remained home.

Was it a good decision? Yes, I think it was, even when I get so angry and upset when things don't work out the way it should. Today might not be the best of days, but there's always hope for a brighter tomorrow.

How else will we grow and reach our potential if we do not rise to the challenge?

I miss...

I'm a bit homesick today.
I miss...
...Buying a newspaper every morning on my daily drive just to add to the ever growing pile on the back seat.
...Buying my fake shades while I'm stuck in traffic, bargaining and explaining that I need a discount since I bought three pairs of sunglasses already.
...The local colours, flavours and accents.

I constantly think of the orange sunsets over Joburg, Jakaranda trees in bloom in Pretoria, TUKS FM blaring over the radio day and night.
I think of ienkmelodienk, serrie and jotters from my varsity days. How we use to salute Huis Madelief with such pride. How my friends and I use to defend our jotters with our lives. (A jotter is a hat that was part of the uniform of the residence Madelief at the University of Pretoria)

Summer nights, late nights and good friends are what made my days worthwhile.

I sometimes wonder if I will ever be able to get over my Africa obsession. Probably not...
Yes, the politicians are corrupt, the roads are made up of consecutive potholes, crime is a nightmare. Then again, the country is beautiful, the people even more so and  jokes are abundant and smiles are common...

Maybe this is slightly romantic, but sometimes we need to abandon or leave some things and places behind, to realise how much we loved and appreciated it.

Dining alone...

What is the utmost show of confidence?
The skimpy clothing, the ability to speak up, self acceptance etc, etc, the list really goes on and on.

According to me the biggest sign of self confidence is... Going out to dinner alone...
It's possibly the worst feeling in the world.
The hostess always asks if it's a table for two and as soon as you say one, pity instantly shows in her eyes...
I always wonder why they feel sorry for me, I'm hungry and I'm seriously not in the mood to find someone to join me for dinner.
By the time I finally found a candidate I would be starving and in such a vile mood that everyone will probably prefer to go poke dragons. My mood is inversely proportionate to my hunger... When the hunger's down, my mood is up...

The other thing that always gets to me is when the server takes away the extra cutlery at the table. It's not that I want to stare at all the shiny stuff, the servers always seem to ask: "Just a table for one? No one else joining you?" and then they add a slight shake of the head and as a bonus they tell me I'm too pretty to be dining alone...
Thanks for the compliment, not for the hint.
 Dining alone isn't always such a terrible thing, especially if you choose your restaurant well... Nothing makes you feel more comfortable than a bunch of loners dining alone.

I could probably just avoid this and order take out, but, I need to see some sunlight and sometimes it just feels good to not eat at home all the time...

Dining alone is the new wave of self acceptance according to me.

More photos...

Seriously...

I realised that my blog doesn't seem very serious... I don't mention politics, because I would be depressed for the rest of the year if I try to explain the chaos and confusion that's going on in South Africa.
I don't talk about the news too much, since murder, poverty and AIDS just doesn't seem all too positive either... But guess what... It's time for a change...

I'm not admitting that ignorance is bliss, unfortunately I read the South African newspapers often enough to be thoroughly disgusted and upset, but I just don't think it's worth it to point out all the flaws in a country that has so much potential... If only our leaders would see that too. maybe that's asking too much from someone who thinks that showers can prevent AIDS, corruption is the name of the game and there is no reason to be frugal with the nation's money...

Most people think that the government is a joke... About 2 months ago, there was a big hype about The State of the Nation drinking game. The game involves any beverage of your choice and one of the president's long, winding, useless speeches. Most of his mannerisms, (that proves he's talking rubbish) are considered as a cue to drink... Try doing that for 45 minutes.  I don't think anyone who chose an alcoholic beverage would be able to stand.  There was even a following for it on twitter...

Best of all is the state of the nation will necessarily improve soon, since our current president has very admirable skills in manipulation. He has used religion to sway the 'less informed' masses, which is really below the belt, because who wants to burn in hell? Vote for the ANC and you get a free pass to heaven.

People have been promised the world if they vote for the ANC, but most of these promises if not all have not been fulfilled. How many people still don't have water and electricity? The problem with this is that some people get electricity for free, but those who can afford it have to fork out the cash, unless you want to sit in the dark, which people do anyway,since maintenance of power stations didn't seem like a very important thing to do. Strangely enough, after 17 years of broken promises they still get the votes.

How can you expect change when you continue to do the same thing? The outcome will remain unchanged...
If you're also not willing to take action, how does it give you the right to complain?
If you don't vote then you cannot complain about the current president. (Makes sense right?)

Surely if we stand up against the corruption, the lies, the racism, then there's actually a chance that there might be a positive outcome.
How will we know if we don't attempt it?

Personally I think it's time for everyone to get serious and take action...

Just a thought...

I can get so upset when people see the worst in me or assume the worst.. It drives me insane.
How can anyone get through life if they cannot see anything good?  The sun just never comes out for a pessimist it seems...

Yes, sometimes people disappoint and yes, sometimes they make mistakes, but does it mean that they have to deal with it for the rest of their lives? (No, I didn't do anything and this is not said in defense)

So now, if  I am burdened with false truths and mean comments and terrible assumptions, does it mean that I can be rude and disrespectful to that person in return?

Sadly, I would have to admit  that the thought has crossed my mind, BUT I will probably never forgive myself if I ended up on the same level as the pessimists.

In order to not completely lose it,  I just keep on thinking that every day is a new beginning and that we cannot taint something as wonderful with poisonous thoughts from the past.
Take what you need from the past, but never let it take the shimmer away from the future...

Comfort vs growth...

The wonders of a comfort zone. It's like a good blanket that provides warmth on a cold night.
Comfort zones are awesome, there are very few challenges... But to me that would sound like utter sheer boredom.

So this year I decided that my new year's resolution is to not have a comfort zone, since all the others are actually just a waste of effort. Most of them are forgotten after a week anyway.


The idea of not having a comfort zone sounded like a step in the right direction for personal growth... Not too mention brave, daring and slightly reckless... Now it just feels like a whole bunch of hard work and obstacles...

After four months into the year, without a comfort zone and the boundaries that come with it, I'm rather stressed. Who knew not having stability is so exhausting? A very naive question that us romantics ask.

One good thing about this whole scenario is that there's only eight months left and that the whole experience will make most mountains dwindle into mole's heaps...(that's what I'm hoping for anyway)

Exit,pursued by the bear.

Who's awesome?

One thing I tell myself everyday...
Yes, it might sound a bit vain, or it might sound stupid, but best of all, I don't care because I know it's true.
So stay awesome...

What a shocker...

I read a very interesting article about the fashion industry earlier on today.
Models are not outspoken... This is a fact. Yes there are the few tantrum, cellphone throwing ones, but the majority of models do not speak up during a bad or illegal situation.

Think about it, if a boss or coworker in a 'normal' working enviroment told anyone to drop their pants, it will end up in a sexual harassment case.
Now in the fashion industry, 14 year old girls are asked to pose naked for some high end photographer who probably has more than a few good shots in mind. (I'm not stating that all photographers are like this, but there are some nasty pieces of work out there)
Most girls are too petrified to say anything, because it will definetely rock the boat (no puns intended) and could possibly be the beginning of the end of their careers.


So now the big question is... Why is this happening?
Is it because no one in the fashion industry have any morals left or is it because most models feel that if you refuse to do shoots that involve nudity you're destined to battle and never get anywhere?
I don't really believe that, because there are some amazing people in the industry and the route to fame doesn't involve showing your bits in public... Unless you're Paris Hilton of course, she doesn't have anything else to use to her advantage.


Why don't models have the same rights? And if we do, then why isn't anyone saying a thing about it?
Not all models party hard and sniff coke.
Some of us actually do have some self respect and hopefully enough courage to voice it.